Siblings

Sometimes the gender variance of a family member can put a family into a sense of perpetual crisis. Because of our discomfort with gender variance, we may unconsciously bond with our other children more than our gender variant child. By doing this, we may inadvertently place the sibling in a position of having to choose loyalties to us or to their sibling—obviously not something we would want to do intentionally. Alternately, we may overly focus on the gender non-conforming child, overlooking the sibling as a result.

A sibling may act out in an effort to gain our attention, possibly in ways that are hurtful to their gender variant sibling. For example, the sibling may “out” or disclose personal information about the gender non-conforming child at inappropriate times or in a disrespectful manner.

Gender variant children may be teased and bullied, even by their siblings. Siblings may participate because they feel pressure from their peers to ostracize or be critical of their gender variant sibling. Or, the need to defend their gender variant sibling from bullying by others can put pressure on the sibling who is gender-conforming.

Assumptions About Gender Identity

Pressure to Conform

Conflict Within the Family

Am I Alone?

Are My Feelings Justified?

 

 
 

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